New site

I decided to up the activity and get a proper domain.

www.thegypsyviking.com

THOUGHTS WHILE STONED ON A BUS

I always liked to travel while stoned. It gives the journey a certain purpose. You can just sit back and relax and let your mind wander, giving you time to think things through and come to conclusions. Or, find even more questions. You look at the other passengers, a small voice in your head tells you that they all can see that you are stoned, but everybody seems to act natural. You try to say a few words to someone, but they come out awkwardly, just wrong, and now you sit there, isolated in you own little bubble. You might look out the window, looking at stuff passing by, thinking about the things they remind you of.

You realize that you are moving way faster than humans ever was supposed to move, and you get a bit scared. This wagon of steel and glass might smash into another wagon of steel and glass, and suddenly you end up everywhere. Then you google traffic accident statistics and find that bus is much safer than say, riding a skateboard. But on a skateboard, you are in control, and for some bizarre reason, you trust more in your ability to ride a skateboard while stoned, than in the bus driver’s ability to safely drive a bus while sober. It all goes down to trust issues. You don’t trust people. It’s always people who fuck shit up.

It’s not like a rebel gang of buses has gone all ISIS on northern Iraq. It’s the people on the buses you can’t trust. Fear is lack of trust. If you can trust in the bus driver’s ability to drive, you’re not afraid anymore. Then you can go back to worry about taxes, death, overpopulation, the climate, and maybe even get a few good thoughts in, like the ones about the future, about the all the adventures you’ll go on, and suddenly, the fear is back. The fear of it not happening. And that is irrational angst at it’s best. You sit around being afraid of the future being anything less than fantastic, and you realize that you will be bored, you will be sick, you will lose people along the way, and it’s all so fucking sad.

No, you don’t have any answers.

But, the future always comes, and you will enjoy it. It usually ends up better than you thought. The feeling of relief feeds the pessimist, and you start to like the feeling of being wrong. It doesn’t really matters who wins or lose, as long as everyone gets cake after the battle is over. And you don’t trust people more now, but you have learned to not care, because there’s nothing you can do about it. You can go hide in a hole, but holes collapse all the time, and then you’re totally screwed. You have accepted your fate, whatever it is. You accept that things happen, because you’re just a passenger. You ride along in someone’s car for a while, then you jump off and hitchhike in another direction. You realize that you are just a minor character in someone else’s grand story, and for history’s sake, that will be your contribution. Your legacy.

You feel small. You can’t do everything. But you can do something, and sometimes, something is enough.

I GOT NO LEGS

I saw this beggar in the streets of Bangkok one day. Both his legs were cut off at the knee, and he was sitting on a blanket in the street, holding his bowl up towards me, and I heard a slight «pleeease» as I walked past him. I thought he looked funny. It would be really fun to watch him run around on his stumps, like a pair of really short legs. It would look awesome. I wonder if it’s possible for him to do that.

I think that guy is kinda lucky. He still has arms, and he has a job. It might not be the most interesting job in the world, but compared to other jobs they have around here, it’s not that bad. He could be making cheap clothes for wealthy westerners in a sweatshop, or he could have been making tiny computer parts in prison-like factories. With the begging job, he can get up when he wants to, and go home when he wants to. There’s no boss telling him that he’s lazy, even if he just sits around talking to people all day. Begging isn’t that bad.

Back home, we never let people without legs work like that. They get to sit at home all day, probably just watching the same boring soap operas over and over again, or getting addicted to World of Warcraft or some other online game. They don’t get fresh air, and everyone thinks they’re just useless people who are missing essential parts. If I had no legs, I think I’d move to Bangkok. Then I could run around on my stumps and entertain people like me.

ANIMALS AND GOING CHEAP

I woke up, went for a ciggie, and I found this dude in the garden. He probably has rabies.

-I will kill you with my fangs of doom!

Then I went to eat lunch, and this guy showed up. He ate a mosquito, that I am sure was out for my blood. I am in your debt, tiny lizard with a mosquito inside of you.

-Now, I actually prefer mosquitoes that are full. Bad timing, I guess.

So, I was about to go on the night train to Chiang Mai. It’s a 14 hour train ride, and you have a few options. You can get a bed, and it’ll cost you around 800 bath (27$), you can get a bad recliner seat for around 350 bath (12$), or you can go cheapo. 60 bath (2$), third class. Chickens and toddlers and people and the works. Benches, barely padded. Straight 90 degree back rests. About as comfortable as a hemorrhoid. 

Well, I am traveling on a budget, am I not?

Bad choice. Now, the seating wasn’t too bad. The wagon wasn’t full, and I got a bench to myself. My little 1 meter sleeping space. Fantastic. Everyone was staring as me, as if asking «why is this rich white falang traveling with the poor people in 3rd class?». Nobody wanted to sit next to me. I probably stank like the foreign shit I am. Then, the sun set.

l8rz, d00d.

Insects. All the windows were open, due to the tropical heat, and now all kinds of insects came flying into the wagon. A large cricket commited suicide on my forehead. I was covered in some mosquito-like things. They didn’t sting, so I assume we hit swarms of male mosquitoes. Males are much nicer than females. At least they don’t suck.

But, after 14 hours of insects and chickens, and far too few small lizards to eat them all, I arrived in Chiang Mai.

Since I had saved so much money being a cheap bastard on the train, I paid for a braid. That rhymes. Now I’m all braided.

That kringle, it is amazing!

THINGS TO DO IN BANGKOK WHEN YOU’RE LAZY

It was time to start, but since I never plan anything, nothing ever goes according to plan. I spent 6 nights in Bangkok, in a ramshackle, extremely cosy guesthouse by the river, complete with a genuine burmese ladyboy, stoners in the hallway, an old hippie, nervous girls traveling together, a few lost backpackers that’s been staying far too long, and at least 4 guitars, 5 ukuleles and a few assorted drums.

So, I didn’t really see much of Bangkok. I saw a few street food stalls along the way, and I ate more than a few portions of fried rice. I tried all kinds of food from a 7-11 that was the closest shop to the guesthouse, and I had a few too many Chang beer. Sometimes, talking to other people about traveling is the best thing to do while traveling. There’s enough wats and buddhas in Southeast Asia to last a lifetime, and you don’t really need to see them all. 

Now, there’s one thing you need to do in Bangkok. It’s not listed in any guidebooks, and it’s probably not the safest thing to do, but damn, it is high value for money. When you finally decide it’s time to leave Bangkok behind, find a toothless tuk-tuk driver during rush hour, pay him 3 times the normal fee, and ask him to get you to the train station fast as fuck. Hold on to your seat and your luggage, and watch the crazy bastard speed between cars, cross on red lights and go way too fast between cars ON THE MOTHERFUCKING WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. Yeah. You don’t need to bungee jump or parachute or go rock climbing. He’ll laugh and smile and say stuff like «Tuk tuk much better than taxi. Taxi one hour. Tuk tuk 15 minutes» and «Me good driver, yes!»

"Looking good, yes!?"

I got out in one piece, at least. I guess the lucky charms in his rear-view mirror did their job. The train took me for a two-hour ride to Ayutthaya. Not as fun as Bangkok, but I at least found this old ruined wat. It was a little on the side.

Wat is njow, cow?

Anyways, I'm off to Chiang Mai. See you there :)